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Round 21
Emiko: I swear, last round before Edwina. We'll make this quick. Just me and Orriole today. First off, what exactly is this event that keeps being brought up... the Crossing? How long ago did this happen? Orriole: The crossing took place about six thousand years ago. It was simply that: the elves crossed over from one place to another. A migration. Emiko: Next, what can you tell me about the general level of technology on the elven world? Sounds like there's a rather strong reliance on magic in everyday life. Orriole: Yes, there is. The elven world has nothing like television or computers and very few cars. We do most everything by magic there, from cooking to transportation. There is not such a great need for technology. Some elves believe we do need more technology, and they mostly choose to live amongst humans. Emiko: Very nice. Next: Orriole-- Is it true? You know, what they say about men with big ears? Orriole: Uh, what? Emiko: Oh, I don't know, that elves with bigger ears have better hearing, or get more girls. Orriole: Ah, no and no... And I would not know on that third implication! ::turns several shades of red:: Emiko: Easy one now. Do any of the elves have pets? Orriole: Yes, indeed. I have a great many animal friends myself, some of which could be considered pets. I do not force mine to stay with me, though. There is an interesting story about a cat that will appear later in the story, please do keep reading! Emiko: Pimpage from the Oreo man. What has the world come to? ::giggles:: Orriole: Maa, filia mea... Emiko: Last one. If humans can't do magic, can they at least use magical or enchanted objects? Orriole: Oh, most assuredly. Unless it is an object that requires activation by a spell. Emiko: So there you have it. Join us next time when we will have Orriole, Pinkerton, and the lovely Edwina Kirsch. Emiko: Hello and welcome to Ask an Elf, today featuring the kind and wise Orriole and the generous Edwina Kirsch. It's a great pleasure to have you here with us today, Edwina. Edwina: It is a pleasure to be here. Emiko: Our first question is from Gillikin. I quote: Hi, Edwina! I wanted to know who your brother's fairy was, and know I want to know who your fairy is. What is he/she like? Edwina: Ah-- Orriole: ::raises his hand quickly:: You do not have to answer that one. I will take it. The subject of Lady Edwina's fairy is not appropriate for this conversation. It is, as Em would say, "spoiler information." Hirschel's fairy, as I believe it was mentioned before, is Evgin. Hirschel has said a little about him earlier. There will be no further discussion of fairies for today. Is that understood, filia mea? Emiko: Yessir! ::salutes and hits herself in the eye:: Ow. Edwina: ::giggles:: Thank you, Herr Orriole. Emiko: I hope you'll find this next question more to your liking. It's from Christine. Hi Edwina! How are you? What do you do in your big mansion all day to amuse yourself?? Edwina: Oh, there were--are a great many things to do there. The house does not maintain itself, after all! My duties have been to oversee the daily running of the premises. I also enjoy riding in the forest, reading, and painting. Ice skating on the pond... Orriole: Ah! I did not know you ice skate. Edwina: Yes, I do! Orriole: Perhaps we shall go together some time, then? Edwina: I would like that very much. Emiko: Well, as much as I hate to interrupt that thought, we have to keep moving. The next question is more general, but I know the two of you will be able to give a good answer for it. What is the tree of life? Edwina: Oh! Orriole: ::smiles softly:: That is a very interesting thing to ask today. If you will, Lady Edwina? Edwina: But of course. The Tree of Life is said to be the thing which gives life to all elves. It is immense, covering all the land with its roots and providing us with food and fairies. Every elf has a piece of it in his or her home, and it can be called up from the ground when needed for protection or sustenance. There is a salufem, or--how to put it... "great tree extension" in all major cities. The erlufem, or Great Tree itself, is where fairies are born. That is where the malfem, or tree guardian, sustains the tree with her magic. It is also the location of the High Council. Is there anything you would like to add, Orriole? Orriole: No, I think you did a wonderful job covering it. Emiko: Another interesting one... and a good one, too, I think! Why are marriages in elven culture NOT life-long? Is it always so, or just sometimes like human divorces? Orriole: Marriages are an expression of love among elves. They are by no means legally binding in any manner, so there is no need for divorce. When married elves decide to part, they simply do, and generally on amicable terms. No elf would live with someone he or she did not love or find enjoyable for long. Often elves have multiple marriages, though traditionally stay only with one partner at a time. Sometimes a group of elves intermarries and enjoys living together, in which case they do. And, on a similar note, marriage is unrestricted in every sense of the word. Edwina: It is not to be taken lightly, though. It is a very serious ceremony. One simply does not go and marry everyone one likes. There must truly be something between the two who are marrying in order for it to be approved. There is no higher recognition of love. Emiko: Plus, as I'm sure Feodor would point out, who wants to be married to the same person for a thousand years? Orriole: ::chuckles:: Some elves do, but those are rare indeed! Edwina: I could not imagine spending such a long amount of time doing any one thing! When one has a long life, one is obligated to use it to the fullest, not remain standing in the same puddle, so to speak. Orriole: Well-said. Emiko: Ha, indeed! I guess this means we're at our last question. In this plane of existence, there are many different varieties of vampires. What they are afraid of and how you, uh, dispose of them depends on what nationality your particular vamp is. Is this the same where you're at? Edwina: I think that is much harder to answer than it looks... To begin, there is no truth to crosses having an effect on vampires. I am myself a Christian and an elven vampire. I obviously do not have every trait of a full vampire, but I share enough to where if such a thing were true, I would certainly not attend church regularly! As far as stakes in the heart go, that is a terribly silly myth. Such a thing would not kill an elf, nor would it kill a vampire. I am not sure that full vampires can die, since there is very little information on that subject, but I am sure there is some way. Perhaps chopping off the head? Contrary to popular belief, vampires are not undead, they simply require certain elements found in blood to survive. I suppose starvation could kill a vampire, too. It can certainly kill an elf. Full vampires do not have "nationality," though there are a few species that are known by humans to be "vampires." I am naturally referring to the type from which I am descended. The "Count Dracula" type. ::laughs:: And while I don't like garlic, it certain doesn't repel me! Orriole: Perhaps it would help to know the different types of vampire. The first, or "Count Dracula" type, as Edwina put it, is what is generally considered to be a vampire. There are also Kindred, who are more closely related to vampire bats, and demons that have similarities to vampires. There are some other distant cousins which have been mistakenly called "vampires" in the past. Each creature has its own intricacies. Demons alone require pages upon pages of explanations. So I suppose the overall answer to this question must be no, because it is species, not nationality that determines such things. Edwina: Oh, it is also a myth when it comes to biting on the neck. Every vampire prefers to draw blood from a certain place, most do not choose the neck. Legs and arms work quite fine. There is also no way to "become" a vampire. We are born this way. Vampires are a race. It is possible for a vampire to kill by draining all of a person's blood, but this would require more than one vampire, and would not actually turn the victim into a vampire, as myths suggest. Emiko: Well, that was lengthy. Stay tuned for more Ask an Elf, coming next week! And don't forget to post us more questions, because without those, we can't continue. Thanks for joining us, Edwina! Edwina: My pleasure. Round 23 (10.11.01) <--- palindrome! Emiko: We're back. Yet again. I must be a masochist... Feodor: Careful, Emi, Hirschel might think that's attractive. Emiko: Oh, be quiet, Feodor. Feodor: I was being serious! Emiko: *groan* Anyway, just me and Feodor today. I guess let's begin! The first: I'm writing a fantasy fic which also refers to a pocket dimension but the creatures who live there created this dimension themselves. Is this how the Elven world came about as well? Was it created by the powers that be or has it always existed? Feodor: Are we allowed to answer that? I mean, spoilers and all? Emiko: The answer is both those answers and neither. And I am being more than purposefully ambiguous here, since you just stumbled upon part of the basis of season three... Sorry! Next question: What's with Hirsch always trying to bite people and referring to them as delectable and such? Is this because he's part vampire or is he just being a pervert? Feodor: That's easy. Both. See, Emi has really pale skin. Not as pale as Orriole's, but really pale skin with very little sun exposure--she goes outside for school and that's about it. So Hirschel can practically see her blood! It's like having a slab of steak waved under your nose. Emiko: Oh, this is soooo encouraging... Feodor: Well, that and he does find Emi attractive. Emiko: *groan* Can we move on? Feodor: Ready when you are. Emiko: Are Leprechauns just Irish Elves that the Irish humans call Leprechauns? Feodor: Hmm... I don't know how to put this, and I really don't know what I could possibly say to make Christine not feel sad or anything... But no leprechauns. They're not elves, they're not fairies, they're some drunken Irish thing. Emiko: HEY! I'm half-Irish! Feodor: Yeah, too bad you couldn't have been a full Russian instead of just half... Emiko: I happen to like my Irish half, thankyouverymuch. Feodor: I'll maintain that there's no such thing as leprechauns 'til I see one. Or hear one valid story about one. Or see some proof about pots of gold at the ends of rainbows. Or see the lucky Irishman who actually got his wish granted. I don't think there are any creatures powerful enough to grant wishes, because that would entail godlike magic, and even the Greek and Roman gods didn't have true powers as gigantic as that. As far as I'm concerned, the myth about leprechauns could have started when one of those tinska-dundir things went to Ireland and started playing tricks on people. Emiko: So there you have it. Feodor: BUT! If you had asked, "Are there unicorns?" the answer would have been yes. There are several different varieties of unicorn. If you had asked about dragons, the answer would again be yes. Harpies? Sure. Phoenix? You bet. Pegasi? Affirmative. Dwarves? Yeah, and you've got those on Earth already. Goblins, imps, gnomes, beastpeople; the list goes on. But there just don't happen to be any leprechauns. This is fantasy, not a free-for-all. And I believe Em already went over the fact that TBE was not created to have any crossover potential whatsoever. We'll be sure to pop by Thermalyte when Elf and I goes interdimensional, though. Emiko: ... Two things. First, are you done? And second, HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT MY SECRET PLOT?? Feodor: I'm done, and you told me. Don't worry, I'm not going to jeopardize it. I'll play the role I've been assigned. Emiko: I guess that's good enough. Next question: Feodor, how do you feel about Talia? Are you two close? If so why do you always leave her behind and stuff her into drawers? Feodor: Close? Yes, we are. I love the little twerp, that doesn't mean I like being in the same room with her twenty-four-seven. Emiko: She's annoying as Tartarus. Feodor: Next? Emiko: Last. Why are so many hunters after Feodor? I'm a assuming its because its a thief but has he stolen anything of MAJOR significance that's caused this? Feodor: You bet! I'm the first major criminal in a great many years! Of course I stole something significant. Something really big. Something big enough to get the Council to issue a death warrant on my head. I'm just not gonna tell you what it is yet. Emiko: So there you have it. Join us next time, who knows who'll show up? My money's on Feodor, Orriole, or Hirschel at the very least... Feodor: Well, duh. Have a nice day everyone! Emiko: We're back, with Feodor, Orriole, and Hirschel. Feodor: Hi. Hirschel: Good morning, evening, whatever. Ugh, my head hurts... Feodor: Hiyas! Orriole: Good day. Feodor: Hello! Emiko: Feodor, shut up. First, we're revisiting an old question thanks to some info posted to the forum. The question was I've been reading Fellowship Of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. I'm about halfway through and the book mentions Orcs... what race of what are they? They never tell you in the book or even in the "prologue." so what's so bad about them??? I quote: Cerillian: Actually, You'd have to have read the Simarillian to know the answer, I think. The true origin of orcs is back in the age after Morgoth stole the Simarils and caused the death of the two trees of light. A large number of elves left the islands of the Valar to chase him and bring them back. (sorry, I've forgotten most of the names of those things. I'm pretty sure it was the Second Age, though.) After a time, some of the elves were captured by the forces of Morgoth. After being tortured and corrupted by the dark god, the bestial humanoids that used to be elves were now orcs. Since that time, they've served the various dark powers of Middle Earth. Emiko: This wonderfully illuminating answer leads into another question: Has anything like this ever happened to you guys? From what I've been able to gather, nothing quite that bad has happened to elves in your history. But then again, you've never said what caused the Crossing . . . Orriole: No, nothing as terrible as that has ever happened to the elves. The reasons for the Crossing were a kind of, ah, how to put it, elven Zionist movement. Feodor: Cool. Emiko: I hope that covers it. Next: I always enjoy a good cup of tea in the mornings with my breakfast. What do you guys (the elves & Em if she feels like it) have for breakfast? Feodor: Hash browns and bacon and eggs! I love hash browns... And a cup of orange or grapefruit juice, or maybe even half a grapefruit. Sugary cereal! Frosted Flakes -- They'rrrrre grrrrreat! And never forget the holy cuppa joe. Emiko: *groan* I eat whatever my dad makes, though my favorite thing is toasted bagels with cream cheese and a cup of cranberry juice or tea. Orriole: Tea is fine for me, I suppose... Hirschel: Bacon and stag's blood. The way my sister makes it. Feodor: How predictable. Emiko: Hush! Fourth question, counting the revisited one. Did you enjoy having Mira stay at your house for the weekend? Feodor: Ya know, no one outside of us and Gillikin're gonna know what's going on about that... Orriole: Yes, she was delightful. Hirschel: Ach, I miss her already... Emiko: Good enough. Lastly, from Gillikin once more. Why do half of my questions have to do with important plot threads, so I never truly get them answered? Feodor: Because you ask good questions and you know too much. But that just means you should stick around and see them answered in the comic. Emiko: Nice wrap. *falls asleep on keyboard* dh.kh.d..hdsg.,hhg s.gd. hjm.d.h .,hgb......... Feodor: Yeesh. Bye everyone. Send us more questions! Emiko: Happy, productive rainbow pies... Feodor: Em's a little tired right now, so I'll be moderating. Today I have with me the munificent Orriole and fanged I-wanna-be-pretty-as-Feodor terror Hirschel Kirsch. I am, of course, Big Ears Arschev, your one-stop love shack! Hirschel: Grrrr... Orriole: Maa, Feodor... Feodor: Anyway, we've got some nice questions for you today. Almost all of them from a first-timer named Sarah. Let's hear what she has to say! "Dear Hunky Feodor--" Great way to start a letter, if I do say so myself! Hirschel: That's not even IN the letter! Anywhere! You made it up! Feodor: A-HEM. She continues, "Please forgive me, I'm a shounen ai/yaoi fan and I think Orriole and Feodor would make a cute couple. BUT ANYWAYS, not to pick on them, I was wondering if gay/lesbien/bi relationships are as taboo in the elven world as they seem to be in the human world? (Orriole, you can hit me for this one if you want.)" Orriole: *sigh* I won't hit you... No, there are no taboo relationships, but out of respect to our wives, I wish people would stop... It is not exactly a compliment. Feodor: ... Orriole: I do not care if it is related to plot, I want this to stop! And do not bother asking who my wife is--or was--because you will not get an answer! Hirschel: ... *scoots his chair away from Orriole* Feodor: Since Em's asleep, I guess we'll let it slide. Just don't tell her 'til after we've posted this, okay? Orriole: Very well. She will be upset... Feodor: Bully for her. Continuing, Sarah writes, "Even though I'm not an elf, I've kinda been adopted by one, so to say. Ever heard of Drizzt? ^____^ Anyways, Feodor, since you were a wedding planner, think you could help me plan mine in a few years?" Hey, wait a sec, why does that name sound so damn familiar? This is someone we know, isn't it? Hirschel: Hang on. I, Hirschel Kirsch, Net Waver Magnificent, will find out! Feodor: You mean "Net Surfer Extroadinaire?" Hirschel: Yes, yes, whatever! *disappears* Elevator Music: *plays* Feodor: He'd better hurry it up. This music sucks. Orriole: ... Hirschel: *reappears* Elevator Music: *ceases* Hirschel: Aha! I have found a ... uhh... Drizzt... Do'Urden... Feodor: Oh! Duh, no wonder it's familiar. D&D stuff. Wonder if it's related to this Drizzt? Orriole: Jrinda, the question? Feodor: Oh, yeah! Well, I'd love to help, but I'm probably a bit out of your price range, seeing as how the last wedding I planned redefined the word "extravaganza." *grins* If you can get the Council to give clearance to hold your wedding in the elven world, of course, then we can talk more... Hirschel: In other words, he doesn't know how to do a wedding without using magic, which the Council does not permit on Earth. *sniggers* Orriole: Maaaaa, jrinda. Next question. Feodor: *glares at Hirschel and reads* "Orriole, obviously Ori-pa is a term of affection by which Emiko calls you. What does the "pa" suffix mean though? Is it like short for papa or something?" Orriole: Not quite. Sometimes it is. That is all the answer I am giving. Feodor: Hokay, then, "Is Tir-na-nOg in anyway related/connected to the elven world, and whether or not it is, what do you know about it?" Hirschel: Don't know. Orriole: Ah, that was a group of elves in the area of Great Britain. It was the name of their "kingdom" so to speak. It was moved, castle and all, to the elven world not too long ago and is still there today. Feodor: Neat. Last one! For Hirschel: "You are a vampiric elf. Are you of the Vampyre or the Draculain?" Hirschel: Uhhhh... Feodor: ... Well? Hirschel: I do not know. I think Edwina said Wampyr or something like that? I am, ah, not really an expert on vampires... Though is Draculain like the supposed Count Dracula? I'm... uh... I'm really not sure. I am only quarter, anyway. *looks around for some help* Feodor: Don't look at me! Orriole: *shrugs* Hirschel: Hurg... I think we must save this for Edwina to answer in the future... Orriole: So we shall. Feodor: Then that's it! Join us next time for more of this handsome, brave, strong elf! Oh, and Orriole and Hirschel, too. Orriole: Maa, Feodor... Emiko: Oooh, I can't BELIEVE you guys went and mentioned wives. Orriole: We are sorry, filia mea, it was simply too much... Emiko: I forgive you, but still... Hirschel: I had nothing to do with it. Feodor: You have no wife. Hirschel: Shut up. That could always change. Look at the first question! Feodor: *rolls eyes* First question, please. Emiko: It's for Hirschel, from a fangirl, Vi. If I dumped the guy I'm seeing, what's the possibility of us getting together? I have an excellent bottle of bloodwine that I've been saving...;-) Hirschel: I-- Uh, that is to say... Ah, I-- Feodor! Help! Feodor: Aw, isn't this cute. Hirschel asking me for help! Hirschel: >,,< Just help me. Feodor: Get in line, chica. You've only got one person to compete against at the moment, and that'd be Christine, Hirschel's first fangirl, but that's nothing a good catfight can't solve, now is it? So duke it out to see who gets Hirschel! I'll be selling tickets. Hirschel, if I were you, I would chose the one with the nicest rack and-- Emiko: FEODOR! Feodor: Then again, there's enough of me to go around! Orriole: And this after the wife incident... Maaaaa, Feodor. ~_~;;; Hirschel: Argh! You are no help, Arschev! *goes off to sulk in the corner* Emiko: Poor Hirschy... Bad Feodor! Ba-ad! Feodor: *sticks his tongue out* Emiko: MOVING ALONG! Some very nice questions from Dina. ^^ How do the elves get their fairies? Do they just choose one or does a fairy choose them? Orriole: It is mutual, you might say. There is no choice in the matter, really... You perform the ceremony and the fairy that appears is the one you are destined to have for that moment in life. Emiko: Simple and to the point. Is Magnus out to get Feodor too?? I have a feeling he is... Feodor just seems to cause a lot of trouble... Feodor: Yup, he is. Trouble is my middle name. Feodor T. Arschev. That T is for Trouble, ladies. *plays Barry White music* Orriole: *laughs* Feodor: Magnus is a huge pain at first, though. He really does go after me all the way. Emiko: Still on Dina's questions: Can I take Magnus home with me?? lol I won't spoil him X3 I'll try to make him ummm more controlled lol ^^;; Feodor: Sure! Good riddance. Orriole: FEODOR! Emiko: Ha, you can borrow him, but you can't have him permanently. Is that fair? ^^ Orriole: Magnus is not a commodity, filia mea. Feodor: Really? He's not? Emiko & Orriole: FEODOR! Emiko: Erm, next question. Final one for today. It's a long one! And an interesting one, too... If by some odd happening -- I'd be willing to bet on a prank played by Puck ^^; -- some big time Hollywood producer decided to make a movie out of TBE, which actor/actress would you want to play you? Personally I can see Adrian Paul playing Hirschel, Drew Barrymore playing Edwina, Julia Roberts playing Talia, and Brent Spiner as Orriole. Oh, and Pinkerton reminds me of Connor MacLeod's attitude sorta, so I could see him as being played by Christopher Lambert, maybe. Perhaps Matt Damon as Feodor? ::shrug:: ^^; Feodor: Hey, that is interesting! Never thought about it... Emiko: I think Matt Damon could work as you. Not a perfect match, but close enough, and he can pull off your character. Brent Spiner, though? I love him, but he's too tall for Orriole. Orriole really requires someone short with odd, rounder features. Drew Barrymore would be a great Edwina, and Julia Roberts was probably made to play Talia, if only she were a tad shorter! I figure it could work out, though, since it might be harder to tell if she were made small... Now to go look up these others... Adrian Paul could pass, but I'm thinking he's a tad too skinny and strong. I'll always favor Lani Tupu on Hirschel, though... After Hirschel's initial Beethoven-inspired design sketches I really did use Mr. Tupu as a slight reference, and increased over time. They're not perfect matches, but Mr. Tupu's probably closer in terms of build and face... Different nose, though. *fangirl moment* Crazy Arse Crais! *end fangirl moment* Of course, I saw a guy on Politically Incorrect a few nights ago who'd be a great Hirschel, too. A Pakistani musician by the name of Salman Ahmad. The only problem with Mr. Ahmad and Mr. Tupu is that neither have Hirschel's incredibly vivid sky blue eyes, though Ahmad's nose is closer to Hirschel's which makes him a slightly closer physical match. And now for Christopher Lambert... I think that'd be an excellent call. Man, you're way better at this than I usually am. Orriole: Sorry, I do not know any of those people besides the man who plays Crais... Emiko: That's it for now, then, I suppose! Orriole: Hello, everyone. Today we have a very special guest, and a good friend of mine, Magnus of House Morpheus. Neither Em nor Feodor will be present today, as neither speaks any Latin. Magnus: Who are you talking to? Orriole: Ah, when this is transcribed, there is an audience... Magnus: Like who? Orriole: The people who read our story. Magnus: ... Orriole: They are very anxious to ask you questions. Here is the first one. The Roman alignment is one that disappeared on Earth some time ago. Will you tell us a little about it in the Elven World? I don't suppose you still wear togas, do you? Magnus: ... I don't get it. Orriole: You do not have to spend too much time, just say something that might help answer the question. Maa, did Emilia not go over this with you earlier? Magnus: I don't know. I wasn't listening. Orriole: Do you want to hear the question again? Magnus: Fine. Orriole: The Roman alignment is one that disappeared on Earth some time ago. Will you tell us a little about it in the Elven World? I don't suppose you still wear togas, do you? Magnus: What's wrong with togas? Orriole: Nothing is wrong with togas. Gillikin simply wants to know if they are still worn. Magnus: Who? Orriole: He is the one who asked the question, a reader of the story. Magnus: Why wouldn't people wear togas? Orriole: Humans have not worn them for a very long time. You know that. Magnus: But I don't wear togas. Orriole: That is okay. What else can you say about the Roman elves? Magnus: We have a great big city with marble and crystal walls. It's the greatest city ever! Terraces and verandas and the arena where people fight. I like the arena a lot. Orriole: What is the name of the city? Magnus: Kraigotum, of course! You know that! Orriole: We are trying to tell other people about this, remember? But here, let me move on. Em has said that you get more fire markings than anyone else she knows of. Are these brought about by anger, or something else? Do they hurt? Magnus: Eh? Orriole: It is very simple, Magne, just answer the question. Magnus: Em? Orriole: Emilia. Magnus: Oh. Uh, no, they don't hurt. They appear when a fire mage uses magic. Why isn't M'lia here? Orriole: She does not speak Latin well enough to translate these questions for you. And she thought it would be better if I did it. Are you ready for the next question? Magnus: How many are there? Orriole: We will do five now, and five next time, and maybe a few more after that if there are still questions left to be answered. Magnus: I'm ready, then. Orriole: Some scholars believe that Rome, at its height, held about 1 to 2 million people. Others, looking at the area it covered, the size of the buildings, (Insulae, or 'islands', were similar to apartment buildings. Almost a square mile of Rome was filled with these 100 foot tall, 4-5 story buildings. Actually, they could have built them bigger, but the Senate, in pre-empire times, made a law that limited them to that so they didn't show up the main government and Temple buildings.) the amount of food that was imported, and so on, hold that the population was closer to 4 to 6 million. Does elven memory record the actual number? Magnus: ... Orriole: That was very long. I think it is easier to ask if you know how many people Rome held? Magnus: No. Why should I? I don't live in Rome. Orriole: Fair enough. I do not know myself, only that it was a great many people. I am not sure anyone ever counted. And there is no particular "elven memory" which would know such a thing... Elven society is as fragmented as human society. Did you mean history? But on to the next question. Ah, I do not think this is appropriate to ask, so you do not have to answer if you do not wish to, Magne. Okay? Magnus: What is it? Orriole: It is: "Magnus, when did your mom die?" Magnus: ... She died when I was very little. Orriole: Do you want to move on? Magnus: Yes. Orriole: Ah, this next question I will not ask at all. But the one after it is fine. It is from Dina, one of your fans. She wants to know whether or not you really bite. *chuckles* Magnus: What's wrong with biting? Orriole: Nothing, Parve Magne. Since there is only one question left, I suppose shall deal with it now rather than justify another Ask an Elf. So Christine -- you know who she is, she's Hirschel's fan -- has the following question: I like fire, I always have. Since that is your element, I was wondering if you have an appreciation for it, or if you would consider yourself a pyro. What do you think the best thing about fire is, and why? Magnus: It burns things. And it can hurt people. Those are the best things about fire. Emiko: I have some bad news. Orriole is missing. If you see him, please tell him his presence is required at home. Feodor: I can't believe he went off without telling me... Hirschel: *shrug* He did not say anything to me, either, though he wouldn't, would he? Pinkerton: He didn't say anything to me. Emiko: Most peculiar. Anyway, the show must go on, at least for now. So here's our first question of the day. I was wondering what you thought of modern fantasy portrayals of elves? Not just your personal views, but what the rest of Elfdom thinks of them in general. Feodor: Oh, you'll find opinions greatly divided on that. Personally I don't care for it much. Humans have overlarge imaginations. Pinkerton: *sniggers* That's not to say Elfdom doesn't have the same types of fantasies. In fact, much of what you consider modern fantasy is considered historical fiction in the elven world. Hirschel: An interesting twist, no? But as we have mentioned before I think, we elves are not as united as many make us out to be, and Fey--Arschev is correct in saying that opinions are divided. Feodor: Think of modern fantasy like westerns to elves. Some people go in for it, others don't. Science fiction's a whole different matter, of course. Emiko: There are some specific examples listed, so why not delve into those a bit? Let's start with D&D. Feodor: Ugh. I don't mind D&D by itself, but the way it has ballooned over recent years, especially over the Internet, turns my stomach. I'm all for tabletop games, and D&D is an excellent game, but why'd people have to go and develop this whole mythos about it? Emiko: I think it's cool. But what about the specific portrayal of elves? Feodor: Given that I'm not into the whole expanded universe thing, I'd say it's generally okay. Some elves find it pretty repulsive. The drow are annoying misconceptions, with the exception of those gals over at Drow Tales. Any time, ladies. Hirschel: Hrmph. I do not particularly like D&D at all. Emiko: And Lodoss? Pinkerton: Ugh, what tripe that series is. Feodor: Are you kidding? It kicks ass! That show is great! Hirschel: Eh, it's okay. Not generally well-known in the elven world, since there are no televisions. I only heard of it from living at Emi's house. Not like D&D, which practically every elf knows. Emiko: How about random video games? Feodor: They vary widely. Most elves don't play video games. No TV, no electricity, like Hirsch said. I've never really met any elves who were gung-ho about portrayal in all those rpgs that get released every year. It seem more like the characters are elves in the sense that the game designers wanted people with pointed ears in the game. Pinkerton: Indeed, quite accurate. Most of those games are too formulaic to be worthy of note. Emiko: Um, have any of you read Shadowrun, Earthdawn, Dragonlance, or anything by Mercedes Lackey? Pinkerton: No. Feodor: Nope. Seen the Dragonlance ones at least. Hirschel: That book, Elvenbane, is by Lackey, yes? Emiko: That's right, her and Andre Norton. Hirschel: Haven't read it. Emiko: Oh, the questioner mentions a book by Mercedes Lackey about modern-world elves which I happen to have picked up... TBE's kinda like that, what little I remember of it. You should try that one, Feodor. It's pretty interesting. Feodor: Maybe next century. Emiko: And finally on the topic, Tolkien. Feodor: Orriole likes him. I'm looking forward to the movies. Hirschel: He is quite good. Truly a palshrikan if ever I have heard one. Pinkerton: In other words, neither we nor the majority of Elfdom can deny him recognition for his creation of a world. One of the few authors of fantasy whom most elves can enjoy. Feodor: Aw, c'mon, it's just because they're long books and they break the tedium of a long existence. Hirschel: No, they truly are good books. Feodor: I'll take the movies, thank you very much. If that's all for this subject, what's next? Emiko: Okay, here's an interesting one. Do you know that Hirschel's name
very closely resembles the German word for 'stag' (Hirsch)? (and Feodor: Why do you ask yourself questions? Emiko: Hush up, you. Yes, I know Hirschel's name means "stag" and that's precisely why I put the stag's blood in there. A little in-joke. Congrats for picking up on it. I have a weird sense of humor, too. Next, when do we get to see Orriole in the comic? Or has he appeared already and I missed it? I'm not sure if we answered this before of not... so I'll answer it anyway in case we didn't. He appears in issue three and is present for the whole rest of the story. You'll see him first in the second Interlude, though, when that comes about. Feodor: Do you have any questions that are actually for us? Emiko: Hey, I don't pick 'em, I just answer. Here's one for you, Fey. Feodor, I was wondering...are you free on weekends. I always loved guys with big ears. Feodor: Sure thing. Name the place. Emiko: At this point I would like to remind you that we can't guarantee appearances, Feodor. Feodor: Well, &$*#%! Emiko: So while he's like to, he can't because he has to help me go look for Orriole this weekend. Last question for today! Well, since one's for Pinkerton, I'll go ahead and ask it, too. First: All hentai thoughts aside, can fairies change their size? In other words, when Pinkerton is hanging out with Orriole, would he still stay the same size we see Talia in the first issue, or can he make himself closer to Fey or Orri-san's height? Pinkerton: Why the hell would I want to be big and stupid like Feodor and Hirschel? Feodor: And Orriole? Pinkerton: He's a rare exception. No, fairies cannot change their size, nor would we want to. Hoe inconvenient it must be to be as large and cumbersome as you humans and elves. Feodor: Yeeeesh. Hirschel: Size has its advantages. I could crush you with my left hand, ulbrogart zalshten. Pinkerton: Vorfran morsthan. Emiko: I'm with Feodor. Yeeeeesh. Can we move on to the last question? What kind of clothes does Pinkerton normally wear? Pinkerton: That would be kilts. Blue or green or a plaid combination of the two. Emiko: Good. We're done and nobody's dead. Orriole's still missing though... hmm. Well, until next time! Emiko: Well, here's for our second round missing Orriole. No coincidence, since this was written the same night as the first round. Feodor: I tell you he'll turn up eventually. Emiko: I guess it's just you and me for now. Meantime, there are questions to be answered, so let's have at 'em! First for tonight: Do elves have katanas? Feodor: Katanas? Well, they're not exactly traditional elven weapons, but there's really no reason why an elf can't have a katana... *shrugs* Emiko: Er, I guess that'll do. Next: Why does Talia talk like, well, a sugar-enhanced 5 year old, while Pinkerton talks like the adult she's irritating? Is it because she's only 12, and he's 74, (and did he talk like that too? o_O Please say no...), or is every fairy different that way? Or did Fey just konk her on the head too many times while stuffing her into drawers? Feodor: I resent that sentiment. I've never hit Talia on the head, not once. In fact, I don't think she's ever been injured while with me. And Talia just talks that way because that's the way she is. If you've got a problem with that, tell it to my fist. Emiko: Okay, Fey, calm down... Feodor: No way. Nobody insults my fairy except me or you, and maybe Hirschel. Nobody. So she's a little energetic. So what? Leave her alone. And Pinkerton has always talked like the arrogant snob he is. Emiko: Hookay, next question. I really enjoyed the black and white ink style you had for the 'Interlude' flashback. Will you continue to use that method for every flashback? Feodor: Yours. Emiko: I know. No, I'll probably play around with styles some more during the Interludes. That's what they're for. And as far as flashbacks go, it just depends on when the flashback takes place. In other words, not all interludes are flashbacks and not all flashbacks occur in interludes. Make sense? Yeah. Moving along... Talia's prellan look like leaves, while Pinkerton's look more like boxer-briefs. Are they different just between males and females, or are they different for all fairies? Feodor: Every fairy has a distinctive pattern, no two are alike. Like snowflakes and humans. Emiko: Final question. Will we be seeing any other 'mythical' creatures in TBE, aside from elves, fairies, and vampires? Feodor: Yes, but not 'til season two, really. The elven world is full of strange magical creatures, some of which I'm sure humans have never heard of. Emiko: Well, given that it was just you and me today, that went quickly. I guess it's just easier without anyone else to get us sidetracked or make tirades. Feodor: Nah, the questions were just easier. 'Til next time. |
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