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Round 11
Warning: The following Ask an Elf contains implied violence and various German swear words. If you speak German and are offended by such things, please, please, please go now! Emiko: Hirschel, you're so darn popular, we invited you back. Orriole: "Invited" is not the word I would use. Feodor: Cheer up, Orls! Hirschy here'll be a good boy! Hirschel: For the last time, you pathetic excuse for an ass, MY NAME IS HIRSCHEL. Not "Hirsch," and most certainly not "Hirschy!" Emiko: But I kinda like the way it sounds. Hirschel: You do? Then you may call me that if you wish. Feodor: Sure thing, Hirschy-- Hirschel: But YOU may not. Emiko: Great, now that that's out of the way, on to the questions! First one is for me, concerning a comment I made about Hirschel. Hirschel wasn't on the original cast roster? Hmm. Did you just create him for "ask an elf" when you were talking about half elves? Orriole: ::indignantly:: That's right, he wasn't! Emiko: No, I didn't just create him for Ask an Elf. Feodor added Hirschel-- Hirschel: I added myself, thank you very much! Emiko: Er, Hirschel was added in order to offer some more history about Feodor. Feodor: I wanted to recount my battle about how I took out Hirschel's eye. ::beams:: Hirschel: And I shall make you regret that, you-- you-- Hurensohn! Feodor: Hey, how dare you insult my mother! She is a woman of the highest nobility! Warum machst Du keine Diät, Du Fettsack? Emiko: I get the impression I do not want to know what they're saying... Orriole: I pray that none of our readers speak German. How terribly embarrassing. Emiko: Um, can we move on? Feodor: Oberarsch! Hirschel: Might I point out that your last name is ARSCHev? Feodor: That's not what it comes from! Orriole: Just ask the next question, filia mea... Emiko: Sure thing. The next question is for me, too! If I remember correctly, you once said that the comic was a bit like Evangelion. In what ways? And if you can't answer that without giving the whole story away, is that good or bad? Orriole: If all of the questions are for you, why do we need those two here today? Emiko: Um, good question, but it's a little late to get rid of them. Hirschel: Scheißkerl! Feodor: Fettsack! Emiko: Er, ahem, I said the comic was like Evangelion because it starts off with a rather standard sort of situation, but by the end, the story will have screwed up your head. Characters get angsty, we run into some terrible situations certain characters initiate, and in the end, nobody comes off as a saint. In my book, that's both good and bad. I mean, I couldn't stand Eva at the end of it all... Orriole: I do not think the story will end up quite as bad as that, filia mea. It is very much more redeeming than you make it out to be. And a number of the events to which you refer do not even appear in the first two series. We are only on series one. Emiko: Eh, you're probably right. So it's not quite as bad as Eva. But some things will come close. In short, if you think the story isn't very deep right now, please do stick around, because it gets much, much deeper. Orriole: I think Hirschel and Feodor have disappeared. Emiko: No, I hear them fighting right outside the door. Should we cheer or sell tickets? Orriole: Who would pay? ::laughs:: Emiko: Indeed! Let's proceed. Next question. When is Magnus coming on? He's such a cutie^.^ Orriole: That is the third question for you, filia mea. Emiko: Well, you've been helping. In any event, Magnus will arrive... Um... First Feodor, then Hirschel, then Kiprilla, then Orriole, then Magnus. Issue four or issue five. So he's a ways off, but I promise we'll get there! Magnus is a cutie isn't he? Just don't get to close to him. He's got issues. Orriole: One can not blame him for his childhood. Emiko: I wasn't, I was just offering a warning. Hey, Orriole, why don't you go break up Feodor and Hirschel? Orriole: Aa, I shall. It wouldn't be prudent to allow them to break anything in the midst of their battle throes. Emiko: Exactly! ... Okay, Orriole's gone. I needed him out of the room to answer this one. Why does Orriole not like 'that word' (assuming it's Hades)? Yes, the word Orriole dislikes is Hades, and it is due to a very sad event in his past which you will learn about later. Feodor: ::grumbles:: I won that fight. Hirschel: You did not. Emiko: Can you both please behave for more than five minutes? Orriole: Consider it a battle in its own right. The one who behaves the best for the longest period of time is the winner. Feodor: I'm not some little kid. That's an obvious sham. Orriole: Feodor, does that mean you cannot behave better than Hirschel? Hirschel: I shall prove that I am better. I am a perfect gentleman. Emiko: That's debatable, but at least we got you guys to stop fighting in time for the last question. If elves and humans have common blood typing, is it safe to say that, should such a necessity arise, an elf could donate blood to a human of compatible type, and vice versa? Orriole: Yes. Emiko: And that concludes today's Ask an Elf! Feodor, Hirschel, you two should be ashamed of yourselves. Feodor: Well, he started it! Orriole: Feodor, I honestly expected better of you! And Hirschel, no gentleman should be seen fighting on the floor! Hirschel: Hmph. Perhaps that is so, but I had to defend my honor. Emiko: You two are the least honorable people I know. Now go to your rooms! Feodor: Tch. ::leaves:: Hirschel: Hmph. ::exeunts:: Emiko: ... I'm not the only one surprised that that worked, am I? Orriole: ::laughs:: You and me both, filia mea. Emiko: Guess who's absent today? Feodor: Hirschel? Hirschel: Feodor? Emiko: I only wish. Actually, we're missing Orriole. Hirschel: Good riddance. Feodor: Don't make me come over there! Emiko: Both of you, be quiet! If you misbehave once -- or even start to misbehave -- I will kick you out the window. And we're on the fourth floor. Feodor: Uh, duly noted. Hirschel: But of course I shall behave for you, my sweet pie. Emiko: >_<; Anyway, first question. If elves and humans have common blood typing, is it safe to say that, should such a necessity arise, an elf could donate blood to a human of compatible type, and vice versa? Feodor: You know, Orriole would be so perfect to answer that! Emiko: Answer it, Feodor. Feodor: Sure. Yep, it's possible, and it happens fairly regularly. I donate blood every chance I get. Hirschel: Care to donate some now? Emiko: Hirschel! Hirschel: That was a joke, not a threat! Emiko: You're treading on thin ice. Next question. Do humans and elves have a common evolutionary predecessor? Where would faeries fit into all this? Feodor: Yes, we do, and fairies don't. They're separate. Hirschel: But we will not tell you how they are different, no? Feodor: For a 500-year-old elf, you sure speak bad English. Emiko: Feodor! Feodor: Hey, you let him get one in. Hirschel: That's because she loves me. Emiko: I-- what!? Hirschel: Er, um... ::blushes:: Feodor: Aw, how cute. The next question is: Since this is an online manga, are there going to be any other anime/manga elements arising in the future (e.g., catgirls, giant mecha, Jusenkyo curses, etc.)? Emiko: That's my job! Feodor: It's also your question. Are you going to answer? Emiko: Of course I am! Giant mecha, no. Jusenkyo curses, no. Catgirls, maybe. Feodor: Man oh man are catgirls hot... Hirschel: They are covered in fur! Feodor: Exactly. No clothing. Emiko: ::groans:: Feodor: Moving along. What do you foresee in terms of crossover potential with other comics (e.g., with Sluggy Freelance, User Friendly, etc.)? Emiko: The TBE universe is pretty tightly-constructed in a sense. It's not just some half-baked idea that can be changed at whim. There are rules, just like in our world. So I guess I'd have to say crossover potential is extremely limited. Especially with that particular list. See, in TBE takes place in a human world not unlike our own and an alternate world filled with a number of magical creatures. Both have finite limits. Humans can't learn magic, there aren't any humanoid robots, no magic gender-switching springs, etc. You can actually consider this setting to be Japan, circa 1995. So it only has the technology of that era, not to mention that I think most everyone can agree magic does not run rampant on our planet. Hirschel: So you are saying what? Emiko: TBE could cross over on the human world side with any other reality-based comic that doesn't involve magic or supernatural occurrences, because in our real world such things don't exist. The only exception in TBE are the dimension-crossing elves, but they're not public knowledge, so neither is magic. Sure, occasionally you'll get news about explosions that can't be fully explained or fires will break out caused by magic, but humans and magic don't generally come into contact. Feodor: On the other hand, you have the elven world. Emiko: Ah, yes, the elven world. The potential for a crossover there is also limited, because there aren't many humans at all and the world is decidedly fantasy-based. You do have the possibility of crossing with comics that are fantasy-based but don't contain humans or even, to a large extent, elves, since TBE's elves already have a predefined magical system and certain rules about their appearance and behavior. So while it's possible, I don't foresee that being very likely unless a very special comic comes along that matches with the established rules of the elven and/or human worlds. Hirschel: I have never heard anyone actually say "and-or" before when speaking. Feodor: Stop drooling, Hirschy. Hirschel: I am not drooling! Feodor: Gimme a break, I can see it. Hirschel: Well, maybe a little. I am hungry! Emiko: Holy mackerel crap. ~_~ Feodor: You've always got the sidecomic, of course. Emiko: Ah, yes, the sidecomic! Since that takes place in a transdimensional universe, which is the same universe Ask an Elf occurs in, there are limitless crossover possibilities there. Unfortunately, that is not the actual comic, and when it comes to the actual comic, the story is very much set in stone. See, I don't just make up TBE as I go along. I'm going by what I'm told by the characters. Granted, this has evolved over time, and new characters have been introduced, but the core story has remained the same since it's, well, what happened. Only a few new events have been introduced, and some of these are just elaborations. Others have been additions, but in the end, the central story here remains unchanged and most of these events were written many years ago. Feodor: Okay, that was long and probably isn't going to mean a lot to anyone but you, so let's move on. What are the names of your mothers and fathers? Hirschel: Hm. Emiko: Hm, indeed. Since we're the only ones here, we should probably list the others' parents as well, don't you think? Feodor: Makes sense. Emiko: Well, I'll go first! My parents' names are J. D. and Mim! Feodor: ::groan:: I don't think that question was for you. Emiko: So? Hirschel, what about you? Hirschel: My father was named Konstantin Kirsch and my mother is named Valborga. Feodor: ::pinches his nose:: Eww. Hirschel: I dare you to make one comment about my mother, you insolent piece of scum! Emiko: Hey! Knock it off, both of you! Feodor, your parents? Feodor: My pa's the Honored Russian Consul Vladimir Arschev, and my mother Irina Arschev. Emiko: Great. Now, let me see... Magnus's parents are Lucia and Maximus, Vashti's are Joshua and Hannah... Hirschel: Kiprilla's are Pierre and Marie. Feodor: And Orriole's are Ada and Ama. Emiko: ... Those are just words for mother and father. Feodor: Well, you got me, then. Emiko: Come back next time for yet another peaceful and productive Ask an Elf. ... Stop looking at me like that, Feodor! A girl can hope, can she not? Emiko: Well, were one session away from featuring a new guest speaker, Vashti Yah'Niyaz. We just need to get some questions out of the way first. So, here're Hirschel, Feodor, and Orriole.Feodor: Heyas! Orriole: Good evening. Hirschel: Mein Gott... Emiko: Uh, what? Hirschel: My eye is bleeding again. Feodor: Hey, yeah, I've noticed it tends to do that when I'm around. Orriole: Here, take my handkerchief. I, er, won't be needing it back. ::pales:: Hirschel: Thank you. Emiko: Now that our minor medical crisis has been averted, the first question is: Hirschel, when would you like to go out? I'm sure I could convince Em to let us go out on a side comic or something? Heh? How about that? Hirschel: Ah, how endearing. It brings a tear to my eye. Feodor: I wouldn't cry if I were you. Might infect yourself or something. Hirschel: Can you say figure of speech? Feodor: I can, but can you? Orriole: Feodor, stop making fun of Hirschel's accent. You know better than that! Feodor: Indeed I do! Hirschel's AAAAACH-sent. Hirschel: Argh! Shut up, you! In reference to the question, I am sure that can be arranged. Emiko: Why the heck not? It'd get you off my couch for an evening and I could get control of the remote again. Hirschel: It would have to wait until Edvina can take a look at my eye, of course, but whatever time is at your convenience. Emiko: Okay, the next one's for Hirschel again. Your fangs are where it would hurt? That's.. um.. different. If that's so.. then.. wouldn't sucking people's blood and eating hurt you? Hirschel: My fangs are precision tools, with very sensitive nerves in the gums. Drinking and eating do not cause pain, but a serious blow to the fangs can knock a vampire unconscious. A broken fang would result in eternal agony. Emiko: Well, maybe not eternal, per se, so much as... Orriole: May we please move on to the next question? Emiko: Sure thing. ... I can't believe I'm about to do this again, but... Feodor: TALIA! Talia: Yes, Master Feodor? Feodor: Question for you. Emiko: ::groan:: Talia.. How did it feel to stay in Yuki's dresser drawer? Were you comfortable? Was it okay? Talia: It was very fun in there! It was dark, but I made it light! There were many soft clothes and-- Feodor: ::grabs Talia and shoves her outside:: Actually, it was my dresser in the guest room. Same kind as Yuki's. Emiko: Thank-you, Feodor! We have one final question for tonight. Do elves wear boxers or briefs? Orriole: Filia mea! Feodor: ::whistles appreciatively:: Who'd you bribe to ask that? Hirschel: Is this a real question? Emiko: Yes, it's a real question, and no, I didn't have to bribe anyone! I just gave a friend of mine a push in the right direction. Orriole: ::exasperatedly:: Filia mea! Feodor: I think it's a good question. Hirschel: Then you can answer first. Feodor: Sure thing. Boxers for me, briefs for Orriole. Orriole: FEODOR! ::turns several shades of red:: Hirschel: ... Well, I'm not answering. Feodor: Like anyone wants to picture your ugly bum in underwear, anyway. Hirschel: Why you--! Emiko: If you don't answer I won't let you go out on a date with Christine. Hirschel: That is not fair! Orriole: Maa, Feodor, corblen dest marinkrat terfendir? Feodor: Krenkill mak! Hirschel: Jerst por mak horbenz Feodor! Orriole: Mak trendir krek. Istrandir! ::leaves:: Emiko: ............. Feodor: Well, I did! Hirschel: You are an ass. A very stupid ass. Emiko: Is it safe to say I have no idea what's going on now? I know "istrandir" is "goodbye," but... Hirschel: The answer to your final question is krorpgann. Emiko: Kor-what? Hirschel: ::leaps up:: Ha! She doesn't know Elven, so she can't translate the answer! Feodor: Well, okay, so I could've done that instead. Hirschel: Tsen, por tuden makmir! Feodor: Preballin, morsthan. Emiko: Uh, shouldn't someone go after Orriole or something? Hirschel: Not me. I have to go prepare for my date. ::leaves:: Emiko: You're gonna translate Hirschel's answer for me now, Feodor, aren't you? Feodor: No, I'm going after Orriole. Later, kiddo! ::leaves:: Emiko: ... I'm not the only person feeling left out here, am I? Talia: One time I went to the circus. It was a lot of fun! I got to see the elephants and Master Feodor bought me cotton candy, which was big and pink and fluffy, so it reminded me of Mr. Pinkerton, and I like him so very much! I wish Mr. Pinkerton were here right now, because he is so cool... Emiko: ~_~; Lesson for today: Nothing offends old-fashioned elves more than questions about their undergarments. Unless it's questions about people they've slept with. Emiko: I intend to make this edition of Ask an Elf a good, useful, professional one.Crickets: Chirp, chirp. Emiko: See, now, if Feodor were here, he would have made some stupid retort there. Crickets: Chirp, chirp. Emiko: And if Hirschel were here, he would have made some comment about Feodor there. Crickets: Chirp, chirp. Emiko: If Talia were here, she would have eclipsed the sound of crickets chirping a long time ago. Crickets: Chirp, ch-- Vashti: ::kills crickets:: Orriole: Maa, Vashti, was that really necessary? Vashti: Yes. Get to the point or I'll silence you, little girl. Emiko: Er, of course. Vashti, your first question is: Both you and Oreo are hunters, have you ever worked together, or perhaps were seeking the same target? Vashti: Oreo? ::raises an eyebrow:: Orriole: Eh... Vashti: I have never worked with anyone. Arschev is the first target we have competed for, and this nuisance has done little more than get in the way of my job. He is not qualified to be a Hunter. Emiko: Next question. What was your favorite assignment as a hunter? Vashti: ::smiles faintly:: I was once hired to silence a high-ranking Chinese official who had a weakness for prostitutes. The circumstances of his death are not appropriate for this forum, but I will say that his family was suitably embarrassed by it and committed suicide rather than face the irate villagers of their town. Emiko: Er, that's wonderful... The next question is for Orriole. As Em pointed out, it's already been covered as to what 'filia mea' means, but what's the reason you call Em that? Orriole: It is a pun on a number of things. That is all I will say on the matter. Emiko: ::giggles:: Okay, for this next one... please don't kill me, Vashti, but... How in the world did you end up with ears that big? And why don't you just hide them if you don't like them so much? Vashti: Hmph. What an ignorant and stupid person. Orriole: I cannot believe someone asked that. Vashti: If the ironies of genetics escape you, I will gladly shave off your ears as an example, Kristy. I have no problem with mine, but perhaps you will feel differently once I have rectified this situation. Clearly you require some distance from the situation to fully appreciate it. Emiko: Finally, Vashti, what is the worst thing you've ever done to someone who commented on your ears? Vashti: It depends on your definition of "worst." Orriole: Everyone has a worst fear, so it would differ from person to person, but I am sure Vashti ensures that each punishment inflicted becomes the worst for that unfortunate person. Vashti: Well spoken, Svensson. Orriole: Maa, klorbakren dal jitaalis. ::blushes:: Vashti: Sthertin. Emiko: And thus concludes our useful, professional Ask an Elf! Stay tuned for more answers to YOUR questions next time! Emiko: I have decided that guests are good. Therefore we shall invite more of them. Feodor: Hirschel started out as a guest. Emiko: He doesn't count. Anyone who lives on my couch and spends his day watching As the World Turns and eating all my snacks is not a guest. He is... uh... Feodor: A slightly overweight German vampiric elf. Emiko: Actually, I would have gone with "extended family member who outstays his welcome." And speaking of Hirschel, where is he? Feodor: He said something about needing to buy a new outfit for a date. Emiko: Oh. Feodor: So I guess it's just you and me, сестра. Emiko: I guess so. Crickets: Chirp, chirp. Emiko: So, uh, where's Orriole? Feodor: He should be here. Emiko: Oh. Orriole: ::rushes in:: Sorry I'm late! Feodor: Where were you? Orriole: I was playing Bach with Masamichi and lost track of time. Emiko: Well, since you're here, first question is yours. With respect to the "humans can't do magic" statement...didn't Orriole mention something about humans who are either born or spend prolonged periods of time in the elven realm? Admittedly he said they acquire *small* amounts of magic, but that seems more than "can't do magic." Orriole: If you were to rate magic ability on a scale in which elves were ten and fairies were one or two, humans would be between zero and one. Feodor: So it's less than inconsequential compared to us. Humans who do acquire magic can barely manage more than a weak fairy. What kind of magic is that? Emiko: Well, pfoot. Orriole: Psychic ability is something else, though, filia mea. Emiko: Hmph. Anyway, next one is for Feodor. Before when you were fighting Hirschel on "Ask an Elf" in German you called him a fatsack (or was it fatstack?). So does this mean that he's actually overweight in your view? Feodor: Fettsack. Nah, he's not really overweight per se, but elves tend to have higher metabolic rates than humans, so it's rare to see an elf with a beer gut like Hirschel's. Orriole: ::sighs:: Must you two insist on insulting Hirschel and Kiprilla every chance you get? Emiko: Erm... Feodor: Uhh... Emiko: Moving along! What happens to a fairy when his/her elf dies? Do they get a new elf or do they die too? Feodor: They die. Orriole: It is sad, but a fact of life. Emiko: Tch. 'Nother one for you, Ori-pa. Why hasn't Ori-san hit anyone yet? The questions got pretty... interesting... but he has managed to keep his cool. Doesn't he have access to weapons or something? Mallet, mace, anything that does some damage? Orriole: ::narrows his eyes:: The only reason I have not hit anyone yet is because not matter how annoyed I get, I do not believe that fighting solves any problems. Feodor: You do pack a pretty mean punch, though. Orriole: Only under the most necessary circumstances will I engage in battle of any kind. Only to protect my loved ones or myself. Emiko: Like meee? Everyone loves me! You love me, ne, Ori-pa? Feodor: ::rolls eyes:: Next question! Emiko: Well, the last one's for Vashti, but since she's thankfully gone now... Ori-pa? Orriole: It would be an honor. Emiko: Okay, the question is: Vashti, why don't you like people talking about your big ears? I think they're cool. If I were you I'd be proud to have the biggest ears! Orriole: Ah, that is not too difficult. Vashti does not necessarily dislike her ears, but children can be very cruel. To Vashti, simply making an issue of her ear size is displeasing, regardless of her pride in her stature. I have no doubt that she is proud of herself in every respect. Emiko: Annnd... that wraps it up! Come back next time for another calm, peaceful, productive Ask an Elf! Round 16 (07.05.01)!! Warning !! This Ask an Elf contains spoilers concerning events that have not yet taken place in the Interlude. If you do not wish part of the "surprise" to be ruined, don't read. You can always read it later in the archive. :) Emiko: We're back. And I'm bored. I want more fun questions and we're about to run out of them. Feodor: I, for one, wouldn't mind a vacation. Hirschel: You just had a vacation! Feodor: Yeah, but it was only a week in Hawaii. Orriole: Please will you two stop fighting? I am tired of policing you! Emiko: Well, anyway, let's do the question thing. Orriole, for how many years have you been a hunter and when did you start this position? Could you tell us your biggest mistake you've ever made (I'm sure you've made at least ONE) as a hunter? Orriole: Ah, I think I have been Hunter for... hm... Feodor: Six years? Orriole: Ah, yes, six years. So I began doing this six years ago. Ah, I am not sure about mistakes, because this is only my first time doing this. Emiko: Hirschel, what about you? Hirschel: I have been a Hunter for about two hundred years and the stupidest mistake I made was when I let Arschev take out my eye! Feodor: You let me? Ha! I had you beat! Hirschel: If I had only reclaimed the eye, Edvina could have replaced it, but you crushed it! Feodor: Yeah, well, you rely on that sister of yours too much. You let me blast you in the stomach because you knew she'd just heal you. Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. Hirschel: Grrr... Feodor: See, the problem with you is that you got too comfortable tracking down all those weak criminals, so when a big one like me comes along, you were out of practice on your combat skills. It's understandable. I mean, I'm the most major criminal to appear in the past hundred years! And I know my stuff when it comes to battle. You were out-of-practice. Orriole: You cannot blame yourself too much, Hirschel. Feodor is very good at fighting. Hirschel: ::scowls:: Grrrrrr... Emiko: Hokay, anyway, The next one is for all of you. I've been reading Fellowship Of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. I'm about halfway through and the book mentions Orcs... what race of what are they? They never tell you in the book or even in the "prologue." so what's so bad about them??? Orriole: Aa... Feodor: Orcs? Beats me. Hirschel: I have not read the books. Orriole: I think orcs are just a bit like ogre or trolls, is that not right? Emiko: Um, I dunno. Orriole: I am not all that certain myself. It has admittedly been a while since I read the books. They are sort of like big mean goblins, are they not? I think you would have to consult someone more familiar with the books. Emiko: Well, the next one's another Tolkien question. Have you ever met or conferred with Hobbits in your parallel dimension? Orriole: No. Feodor: Hoo boy. Not everything you read is true. Emiko: Now one for Hirschel. Who is Hirschel's fairy, and what is he/she like? Hirschel: My fairy is Evgin. He is a very confident fairy. It is more of a business relationship that we have together, not a personal one. Emiko: And our last question is for you again. We've all heard about the charming sister of Hirschel, but could you tell us a bit about Edvina? Is she a vampire, too? Hirschel: Ah, my charming and delightful little sister. Yes, she is also a vampire. She has the same father and mother as I. There is not a sweeter person you could ever know, and none kinder or more compassionate. She is the gentlest creature to ever see this world, and it is my honor and duty to protect her. Feodor: How suitably dramatic. ::sniggers:: Hirschel: Do you have a death wish, Arschev? I will not allow you to sully my sister's fine name! Orriole: Eh, please don't, Feodor. Feodor: Fine, but only because Orriole asked me to stop. Emiko: That's it, folks. Next time we will have another special guest: Pinkerton, Orriole's fairy. Until then! Emiko: Welcome to yet another edition of Ask an Elf, the ongoing question-and-answer session that amazes us by the fact people still read it. Today we have a special guest. It is my pleasure to present Pinkerton, Orriole's fae partner.Pinkerton: ... Emiko: ... Pinkerton: ... Orriole: Pinkerton, I think she wants you to greet the audience. Pinkerton: ... My text is pink. Emiko: ::falls off chair:: Feodor: F'r crying out loud... Orriole: What text color would you prefer? I am sure Emi would not mind changing it. Emiko: But pink's your main color! Pinkerton: I want blue. Emiko: Fine. You can have blue text. Can we get on with this now? Pinkerton: I was not the one preventing us from proceeding. Emiko: Anyway, Pink-- Pinkerton: ::arches eyebrow:: Emiko: Errr, -ton, here's your first question. It's from that crazy Talia fan again. ::giggles:: Mr. Pinkerton, I find Talia to be both lovely and endearing, in her own special way. What is your opinion of Feodor's energetic little fairy? Pinkerton: Utterly ineffective. Orriole: She is not so bad, Pinkerton. She is very endearing. Pinkerton: Hmph. Orriole: She is cheerful and friendly. Pinkerton: ::waves hand dismissively:: Next question. Orriole: ::sigh:: Emiko: Okay, the next question is: How come you wear clothes? Are you the only fairy to don clothing? Pinkerton: In my experience, yes, I am. Most fairies find clothing an inconvenience. As an accomplished magician, I am personally unhindered by clothing during flight and find the social mores of our time suitable, notably the convention of clothing. Feodor: You're wearing a skirt. Pinkerton: KILT. Orriole: Feodor! Feodor: Heh, sorry, couldn't resist. Pinkerton: There is a limit to how much clothing I can wear. Not many people sew for this size, hronmarskarg. Feodor: Plethintin. Pinkerton: Morsthan. Orriole: Jrinda! Enough, please! Feodor: Hrmph. Pinkerton: I don't know how you endure him. Orriole: ::sigh:: Must none of the people I love get along? Feodor: Platonic. Platonic love. Orriole: ::groans:: Well excuse me for not seeing any reason why I can't love my best friend and my fairy! And not have my words misconstrued in that manner! Feodor: Geez, calm down, Ori. Pinkerton: The problem is purely Feodor's swashbuckler attitude. Feodor: Word. ::grins:: Orriole: Maaaaaaaa... ::rubs eyes exasperatedly:: Emiko: Let's cue the next question! Why does Pinkerton look strangely like a male version of a kyara of mine? I created her sometime in June of 2000 when I had never heard of There Be Elves (which is a great comic, btw ^_^) And, believe it or not, her name is Pink. Pinkerton: Your easy answer is that I don't. Not only is that kyara a female, but she lacks prellan -- fairy markings -- and has on shoes. I shudder at the mere thought. Her wings are doubles, whereas mine are singles, and her ears more resemble an elf. Fairy ears have a sharper point. My hair is not wavy. I am not hot pink. I would never wear pink clothing. My eyes are blue. And my name is not Pink, it is Pinkerton. Orriole: Maa, I think it is cute. She does resemble you, Pinkerton. Feodor: Like a sister! Pinkerton: Why you--! Orriole: Please don't antagonize Pinkerton, Feodor. Pinkerton, please stop provoking Feodor. Feodor: Heh, I'll be good. Pinkerton: Hmph. Emiko: Let's take the next question. Ooh, big one. Are there racial issues between humans and elves? I get the idea that the humans are pretty unaware of the elves being there, but do elves have racist feelings towards humans? Feodor: Yowzas. Orriole: Aa... Pinkerton: That would be a yes. Orriole: It does depend on the elf. Some elves like humans, some elves hate them, and some are indifferent. Just as racism among humans is. Feodor: Though wouldn't this be speciesism? Emiko: That's not a word. Feodor: Well, it should be. Orriole: I hope that answers the question. It is a delicate subject amongst the Council right now. Emiko: Okay. Well, last question for right now. Do fairies ever NOT get along with their elves? If so, can they go out and live their own lives, or is it a binding contract sort of deal? Basically I'm asking if fairies have/wish for a sense of independence from elves. Pinkerton: Relationships between fairies and elves vary greatly. It depends on the elf and the fairy. There is independence, but elves and fairies cannot remain apart for very long. As the story progresses, you will see some variations upon the standard friendly elf/fairy relationship. Emiko: ::blinks:: We're done? Orriole: For now. Feodor: Stay tuned, because Pinkerton will still be here after these messages! Emiko: ... Are we on TV? Orriole: ~ ~; No, filia mea. Emiko: We're back with special guest Pinkerton to answer all your needs! Er, all of your needs that pertain to asking questions about TBE, anyway... Pinkerton: Can we get on with it? Emiko: Of course. First question is: Where is the Elven world? Is it in a parallel universe? Is it some top secret continent that they never draw on maps? Is it hidden under my bed? Where did my burrito go? (BTW, Feodor, next time you see Mayuki, tell her I love her!) Feodor: Will do! Orriole: ::sigh:: It is in something very like a parallel universe, but more like a pocket universe. Feodor: I'd check under your bed for the burrito. Or call Miss Cleo. Pinkerton: Next. Emiko: How long have you been with Orriole? In all of your quests/adventures/missions, which one was your favourite, why, and what happened? Pinkerton: The answer to that would be 74 Earth years. Feodor: And your favorite adventure? Pinkerton: I don't have one. Orriole: ::sits up:: Eh? Pinkerton: They are all of equal interest to me. Emiko: Tell about one anyway. Pinkerton: Very well. Hm. ... Emiko: ... Surely you've got at least one interesting story you could tell us? Pinkerton: How about this, then. My Life with Orriole. First, I met Orriole. Then we spent seventy years gardening. The end. ::smirks:: Emiko: What!? Orriole: Maa, sorry, I'm afraid I am not a very interesting person... Pinkerton: We visited Italy in 1980 and saw the Vatican. Orriole: That was scary. The Vatican was nice, but Rome was not as nice. Pinkerton: In addition, we've traveled across Europe in the early 1990s looking for Feodor. Orriole: I do not think that counts, because that was chasing Feodor... Emiko: That's an adventure! Orriole: But that is the story you are telling, filia mea! I am sure the questioner would prefer to hear of an event not portrayed in the comic? Pinkerton: Perhaps we should simply forget this and move on to the next question. Emiko: Yes. This is too nerve-wracking. Next up: Do elves have a particular favorite food or cultural food? Orriole: Ah, that varies greatly. My favorite food is apples with honey. Feodor: Steak all the way. Pinkerton: Hmph. In conclusion, there is no special elven food that elves enjoy. They eat roughly the same as humans do. Orriole: We do have some unique vegetables in the elven world, but they are not really elven food so much as simply plants... I would not say we have any elven-specific dishes. We eat much the same as on Earth. Feodor: Do you know we're only on question three? Emiko: I know, I know. Hey, lookit, a question for me! How did you come up with the whole TBE concept? I mean, were you hit in the head one day with a large candelabra and it suddenly came to you? Some sort of vision? or did it slowly come together after watching lots of anime, reading lots of books or the like? Feodor: She didn't. We told it to her. Emiko: I did too come up with it! Sorta. Feodor: She was whacked repeatedly on the head as a small child. Emiko: Feodor, shut up. I think if sort of slowly came together... I worked on just the story ideas on and off for years. Four, to be exact. Then suddenly it all clicked into what you see today. It keeps expanding, though... I was inspired by watching a lot of anime and reading a lot of books. ^^ And, continuing with this: Are the characters featured in TBE of your own creation, or were you inspired by some other works? Yes, they are my own creations, but they had many inspirations. Feodor: Oh, God, no. Emiko: Feodor was inspired by Lodoss, Marle in particular, and Chekov from Star Trek, and Link from the Zelda games, myself, and I think perhaps Captain Kirk as well... Ah! Dimitri from the Anastasia movie! Feodor: ::hits head on wall:: Why me... Emiko: There are probably more I don't remember right now. Orriole was also inspired by Lodoss and Link, but... Hm. I don't know where most of him comes from. I think there is probably a little Etoh in him... Orriole is so very kind and sweet, but... You shall see more soon. Pinkerton was inspired by every gorgeous long-haired bishounen! I'm not sure who I could say in particular. It's hard to discern what was inspired by other things and what we come up with ourselves, because everything is inspired by something. I think Orriole must be inspired by birds... And Pinkerton I'm really not sure. Orriole: Maa, that it sweet, filia mea. Emiko: There's a lot of mythology in there that hasn't come into play yet, too. I can't say what for fear of spoiling too much. Yuki was initially inspired by me -- TBE started out as a sort of Zelda fanfic -- but we're not so much alike any more. Hirschel! Aha! He is easy! Hirschel was inspired by the first picture of General Hein I ever saw, and Captain Crais from Farscape! I love those guys. Also my longtime favorite, classical music, and the various dead guys who wrote it. Feodor: Are you almost done? Emiko: Kiprilla was inspired quite a bit by the people I know who are French, like the Fassies. Kiprilla's parents are actually names after the Fassies -- Pierre and Marie (Mrs. Fassie's name is actually Mary Jo, not Marie, but I wanted more of a French feel to the name). Ho-hum. Machiko is inspired by... Sidekicks in general? She's a sidekick, after all. In a way, at least. Vashti was inspired by the Biblical story a bit, and also by things I'm not so sure I remember... I wanted a strong female character, you know? Masamichi! Masamichi was inspired by me and Makoto Hyuga from Evangelion and other smart, cute guys with glasses. Er, I'm not a smart cute guy with glasses, Makoto is. (I'm a smart cute girl with glasses. Haha!) Feodor: If I just end the question session here, will anyone care? Orriole: Be polite, Feodor. Filia mea, please continue. Emiko: Pingault was a lot inspired by the hunter man on Batman Beyond, at least in the looks department... Personality-wise he's your typical vain guy. Magnus! Oh, Magnus, the things I could say... He started out as just a cute little head sketch with no story named Violle, and then he turned into whatever he is today... You know, I don't really know what inspires me, except I know the two most major influences on TBE were probably Lodoss and Link. Feodor: Stick around Pinkerton. We've got another round to go. Pinkerton: Indubitably. Emiko: I swear we'll let you go after this, Pinkerton. Pinkerton: No, it's quite alright. I'm actually enjoying my time here, with the notably exception of Feodor's presence. Feodor: Nyah. Orriole: I'm not even going to try, you know? It is hopeless. These two will never get along well. It is the best we can hope for that they are respectful to one another. Emiko: Um, okay, so, first question? Orriole: Please, yes. Emiko: Let's see now... What is the relationship between Leprechauns and Elves? (I mean this in all senses.. blood.. genes, are they on good terms with each other.. etc) Feodor: Argh, not another question about strange creatures that don't exist! Pinkerton: What Feodor said. Orriole: Ah, there is no such thing as a leprechaun... Emiko: Orriole, next one is for you. Orriole, you mentioned something about J.R.R. Tolkien's classes at Oxford. Did you personally experience one or know the man? Is there a story behind that comment? Orriole: Oh, yes, he was a brilliant man. I enjoyed meeting him, however briefly it was. It was merely a one-time experience, but I think I came out of it with a lot of impressions. It is not really a big story. I just met him once. Emiko: Next one for you as well. You said to Emiko on the topic of human magic that psychic ability is something else, which I assume means that humans aren't excluded from psychic abilities. Are there other supernatural gifts that humans can have? Also, other than a better work ethic, are there any gifts that humans have that elves do not? Orriole: Ah, psychic and supernatural are two different things. There are instances where psychic abilities are portrayed as supernatural, but it is hardly as extreme as telekinesis or other such things... Minds can perceive things. I think that is an easy way to put it. I don't know the mechanics behind it, it is simply there. Humans do not have a better work ethic than elves I do not think... We are all lazy. Elves are just able to do more things without a great deal of effort by using magic. I think it may actually make us more productive but less active. Humans must put forth a great deal of effort to achieve the same effects. A gift of humanity may be their faster evolution, as human lives are shorter than those of elves. You develop more quickly. In ways we are more advanced, in other ways you are. Feodor: Are all the questions for Orriole? Emiko: No, the next one is general. What kind of music do elves listen to? What do you (all of you, guest of the day and Emiko and anyone else you can think of included) like to listen to? Pinkerton: Bagpipes are a wonderful instrument, as are flutes and harps. Feodor: I like traditional European dance music myself. Rock's pretty good, but not completely my taste. Kip likes heavy metal. Emiko: I like all sorts of things myself, but mostly classic rock, classical, Celtic, soundtracks... Aw, heck, I like a whole lot of things. Feodor: Talia likes those kids songs that are so annoying... "Row Row Row Your Boat" is one of her favorites. Part of the reason I leave her behind a lot. Orriole: Maa... I am like Emi. I enjoy many different kinds and would be hard-pressed to pick a favorite. Every moment has its own song. I think right now is a "Magical Mystery Tour" moment... ::smiles:: Emiko: Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! ::giggles:: What about the others? Feodor: Yuki's boring. Beats me what she likes. Orriole: Masamichi and Hirschel both love classical above all else. Pinkerton: Sonya, and I presume Vashti, prefer the music native to their region, which is equated to the Middle East of Earth. Magnus would profess no favorite in music, but he is drawn to the Sand Dancers and their music. Feodor: ::starts to snicker:: Emiko: That's prettymuch everyone, right? Pinkerton: Prettymuch. Emiko: We have time for one more question. Are Tunskaniska ( Sorry, my Finnish is a tad rusty but I think that is how you spell it) real? (kind of like Scandinavian elves but more like fairies but they don't have elves or wings. They are mischievous. Like the creatures that steal your socks so you can never find a matching pair.) Feodor: Tinska-WHAT!? Orriole: Calm down! Pinkerton: You get many of these questions? Feodor: All the time. Orriole: Your answer is a yes. Those are real. Emiko: Really? Feodor: If the man says so, I guess it's right. Pinkerton: I think I'll stay. Emiko: What, like permanently? Pinkerton: Yes. Emiko: Okay, then! Look forward to more Ask an Elf with me, Orriole, Feodor, and Pinkerton, I guess. Feodor: I want top billing. Orriole: Maa... Feodor: Hey, if he's here, I can take a vacation, right? Hawaii here I come! Emiko: But you just CAME from Hawaii! Feodor: Vacation is vacation. See y'all next time! Go to the forum an post some questions for Edwina, as she'll be joining us soon as well. Emiko: Today is gonna be fun. We were going to have Edwina, but there's some questions in my inbox that are just sooo perfect... So we've got our terrible twosome, Feodor and Hirschel, and the eternal voice of peace, Orriole. Hirschel: I'm happy to be back. Feodor: Speak for yourself. -- I know, I know. I'll be good. Yeesh. Orriole: Thank you, Feodor. Emiko: On to the first question! Do some elves ever have a hard time adapting to the human world? like going there for the first time... I dunno, sort of like culture shock? Orriole: Oh, absolutely. Feodor: Magnus is a prime example. I won't say what exactly happens to him, since you'll be seeing it in the comic, but what a hoot! Hirschel: I still remember my first excursion to the human world. It was very interesting and, well, quite a bit frightening. Feodor: I could tease you on that, but it was the same way for me. I was with my uncle, which made things a bit easier, but when those muskets fired, boy did I ever jump! It's like going to a different planet. Er, it is a different planet... Emiko: And what about you, Orriole? First experience? Orriole: Ah... I respectfully decline to answer. Emiko: Well, then, here's our next question. Hey Feodor, even though you're the main character and stuff, do we ever get to see you get your butt kicked? Feodor: Are you kidding? No way! Emiko: ::starts to laugh:: Orriole: Maa, Feodor, you know that is not true. Hirschel: ::snicker:: Krelzen Vashti? Feodor: Oh, shut up, all of you. Emiko: So the answer is yes, he gets his butt kicked, he just won't admit it. Feodor: ::grumblegrumble:: Emiko: Hirschel, here's a question for you. I'd just like to say: Hirschel, I'm behind you all the way. I hope to be present the day Feodor gets what he deserves. A question for you: Do you have any preference to whose blood you drink? or could you care less? Hirschel: Ahahahaaa! ::falls off his chair:: Feodor: This is so unfair! Oh, don't you start, too, Orriole! Orriole: I-- ::starts giggling uncontrollably:: Sorry, Feodor! Emiko: Okay, guys, that's enough. There's a question to answer here, remember? Hirschel: ::climbs back onto his chair:: Ah, yes! I have preference. The universal donor type is healthiest. Orriole: ::stops laughing:: Wait -- you mean O? Hirschel: Yes, that is the one. ::grins:: Orriole: ::pales:: Hirschel: Actually, I am an AB, so I can drink most anything safely. I think AB is the best in flavor. Emiko: ::scoots her chair away from Hirschel:: Erm, next question is for all of you! What kind of girls do you prefer? Blondes brunettes? Intellectuals? damsels in distress? Come on! spill!! Feodor: Definitely has to be cute. Nice butt, bright eyes, delicate mouth. And good fashion sense. Not a sap, though. Someone with her own mind and aspirations! Not too nerdy, not too classy. Smart but not a genius, and down to earth. Likes to party. And willing to try new things. Experiment. ::grins:: Hirschel: Milk, caramel, and chocolate! The three flavors of perfect women. Flawless skin is a sign of good health and blood. As little sun exposure as possible. Feodor: You'd just have to have a food system to women, wouldn't you? Hirschel: Heh, absolutely. Emiko: But what about personality? Hirschel: Must be smart, refined, with superb musical taste. A woman who enjoys the finer things in life. Nocturnal a plus. Someone quiet. And, of course, beautiful uncorrupted skin. Like you. Emiko: Yipes! Feodor: ::high-fives Hirschel:: Orriole: Hirschel! Feodor! Feodor: You haven't answered yet, Orriole. Orriole: Ah... Emiko: Tell us, Ori-pa, or else my last thought on this subject will be what Hirschel finds attractive. ::shudder:: Orriole: I suppose... Someone gentle and kind, compassionate, who loves the simple things in life. Feodor: ... Hirschel: ... ::shrug:: Emiko: We have one last question for today. Orriole... no last name? Orriole: Ah... Last names have not always been a common convention among elves. If you must have one, Svensson will do. Emiko: I guess that's a wrap. We'll be having Edwina on soon, so please send us some more questions for her! Thanks! |